Sitting with my mug of tea and few minutes of quiet this morning, I am reflecting on the last 12 months. Was it a great year? Certainly not. Was it the worst year on record? Nope. But, oh my hell, it had its moments.

There were lower than low moments when I said, “Not this. How can this be happening? Can this be my fault?” And, so many times I said in response and with a confidence I had no idea even existed, “Challenge accepted.” Some of the challenges were the biggest I have ever faced. But, I know there are even bigger tests to come. I have gratefully tucked away the lessons learned and pray I don’t forget where I put them.

And, there were higher than high moments, times when I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. I am so proud I allowed myself to have those moments, that I took the action needed to give them to myself. My former self would have found a way to stay stuck in the crap, convinced I didn’t deserve better.

Through it all, another 365 days alcohol free. Sometimes it was all I could manage. And, I survived by self-soothing with food and sugar. Other times, I thrived and did nothing but the best things for myself. And, that’s the journey. The roller coaster of life. The ride I want to smooth out a little bit more.

The victory comes in knowing I did not once let anything defeat me. I refused to find comfort in my suffering. I refused to let overwhelm consume me. I continued to live with ease, remembering the only way out is through and knowing I was enough at all times.

As the year draws to a close I am once again not making any resolutions. They have never served me. Instead, I am setting intentions. And, for 2019, they are pretty mighty, all embodied by the word I have chosen for the year. My word is plenitude. Very simply, it is abundance but without the excess. It is completeness.

In 2018, things went missing from my life. Things that I know complete me and make me the best version of myself. I got busy making things happen and let go of some personal goals. 2019 is the year I grab it all back and complete myself. Get complete and stay complete. That doesn’t mean I won’t continue to evolve. The completeness I seek is really more foundational, so I can continue building.

I have a list of things that fill me up and make me whole but aren’t yet big enough habits – true lifestyle bedrocks – that they don’t fall by the wayside when chaos strikes. They’re simple. Doable. And I am starting today. Just by carving out the time to write this post vs. let the words die a slow death in the notes app on my phone, I am doing something that completes me (fending off an unexpected barrage of things flying at me this morning just to get this post written has been borderline miraculous).